I have been thinking more and more about what I am looking for in a partner. I have had a lot of relationships with some being more serious than others. I have had a lot of dates,flings, and a few serious relationships. I was attracted to these men for various reasons never really thinking much about what I was looking for. I have never really had a type although I once thought that I did. I have always just followed my heart and hoped that it proved to be the right choice. Although my relationships have not worked out, I realize now that I can take something from each of them and apply it to my idea of the perfect partner.
When I think of my 20’s I think of my crazy dating life. I have always been the creative type and used to date those that were also creative. When I lived in Nashville, Tennessee I was in “musician heaven” and dated a drummer. In fact, I loved musicians so much that my former roommate tried to set me up with every member of her fiance’s band. Well, the drummer turned out to be crazy and the one guy from the band that I really liked came out of the closet a few years later. I dated a guy that was a writer – or trying to be – a writer. I met him at a coffee shop in the hippest part of Nashville. I thought it was just the coolest thing that I was dating a writer who worked at a coffee shop. Um, I would also like to note that he was around 30 and still lived with his mom. I also had a rebound fling with a hairdresser who lived off of Westheimer – I went from my first boyfriend who was a conservative “cowboy” type that to a hairdresser who was probably gay or at least bisexual. The 20’s ended with me meeting the man of my dreams who was the first man I truly was in love with. He ended up breaking up with me, and I moved back to Texas.
My 30’s have gotten a little tamer, and I stopped dating creative types. Oh wait, I made a detour with a photographer in Austin. Oh, and there was the guy from Chicago – he was a nut job who worked in the film and music business. I grew out of my creative phase and started dating guys with normal jobs. I dated a man that was once a teacher – he was smart and brilliant. My last three boyfriends were in sales and marketing. How did I go from dating the creative type to those that were in sales and marketing?
After all of these years of dating I have come up with a list of my ideal man. I decided that there has to be a happy medium between a way too laid-back musician type and a way too uptight marketing type. I need someone in between. I don’t expect for a man to be perfect, but I do want someone who is perfect for me. I want to find someone who is my best friend and someone I can spend the rest of my life with.
Here is a list of traits that I want the love of my life to have:
1. Nice/Caring/Kind
2. Smart
3. Funny – There is nothing sexier than a man who makes you laugh.
4. Sensitive – I am a sensitive soul and appreciate that in a man. It doesn’t make them any less manly; in fact, it is an attractive quality for a man to have.
5. Loves to travel
6. Love of the Arts
7. Close to their family – I think this really says a lot about a person.
8. Confident but not cocky
9. Hard-worker
10. Educated – Educated does not always mean having a degree although that is a plus.
11. Understands the importance of communication – I have learned that is the only way to make a good relationship work.
12. Supportive
13. Good listener
14. Acceptance – Acceptance is a huge deal in a relationship and not accepting your girlfriend, wife, or partner only leads to frustration and heartache for the person that is not being accepted. It also means accepting someone’s personality and character. It means taking me with my scars, saggy boobs, and everything else that comes with being a 39-year-old woman.
15. Trustworthy – my word is my word – I do what I say I am gonna do, and I want my partner to be the same way. It also means that you can trust them with all of your secrets and vice-versa.
16. Understand my need for solitude, peace, and quiet – that sounds silly, but I have the need for solitude at certain times and often will be observant more than I will talk. My grandfather and dad are the same way as are many of my cousins. It is not a character flaw although some people in my past thought that it was.
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